Saturday, December 25, 2010

I can think of several witty comments, but I really think that this picture speaks for itself:

Friday, December 24, 2010

Something feels wrong today, like the planets are not properly aligned, or Mercury is in retrograde. It feels like there's a tear in the space-time continuum, or a disruption in the Force.

Or maybe chocolate bread toast, with apricot jam, chocolate spread, and almond slivers is not a healthful breakfast.

Hmmmmm, now which could it be?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Tonight's TV viewing:

"Mom, Mom, quick, it's Sarah Palin's Alaska."

"Okay, I need to make a drink for this--I'll be right in!"

Oh, please God, let her be hunting moose. Damn, it's caribou, oh well.

Sarah talks about "hunting and gathering for a living." Are you telling me that they actually depend on food that they catch like "Native Communitites" (Sarah's words)?

Oooooh, now we're looking at her Dad's collection of skulls--mink, bear, wolf, cougar, fox, wolverine, weasel, lynx, goose, and duck feet--I'm awestruck.

Sarah and her dad are going caribou hunting in harsh weather conditions--suddenly it sounds like Elmer Fudd, and "vewy, vewy, dangewous."

Cute prairie dog--my son fears that they will shoot it. The cute rodent escapes!

I need more alcohol.

Now, we're meeting a woman who lives at latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates, not at a town or an address. She prefers "blood and guts to diamonds." Ah, okay. I'm not a big fan of diamonds either, but INDOOR PLUMBING?

Now, there's a bear story about how she (the woman with no address, not Sarah Palin) was injured by a bear and had to sew her own head "back together." Hmmmmm. Then, she went out and shot the bear, and ate him apparently. Well, goodness, I hope so.

Now Sarah is lecturing us about being careful while hunting, because they're "alone out there" (except for the ten person camera crew.) My son wants to know if they're hunting Ruskies; he reads too much Bloom County--pinko liberal wannabe.

My son wants to change the channel or watch something from Netflix (or apparently anything that is NOT Sarah Palin hunting caribou).

I said, 'What could possibly be better than this?" I am serious.

He replies, "C-SPAN."

My husband replies, "A sharp stick in the eye?"

I guess, it's Glee. Sigh. I have been outvoted.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Finally a wrong has been righted. Jim Morrison was pardoned on forty year old charges of indecent exposure in a Florida court today. He apparently used profanity at a concert and attempted to show the audience his private parts. While I agree that's obscene, it was forty years ago; is this incident still bothering anyone?

He never served his six month sentence, but I'm sure that he's relieved to finally have this off of his record. Jim Morrison really strikes me as the type to be tortured over issues of image and morality.

My husband, upon hearing the news said, "He's way dead isn't he?"

Well, yes, but maybe it's an important gesture like Galileo getting un-excommunicated by the Roman Catholic Church. Okay, maybe not comparable.

My husband thinks that in thanks, Morrison should give a concert.

Doesn't the governor of Florida have ANYTHING better to do?

Apparently not.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Southern Californians aren't used to fall color. My son says that fall color and snow are simply "unnatural."

Here are some trees from my neighborhood for your viewing pleasure. Notice my cute orange car parked among them in some shots.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Stop playing music and pet the dog.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

This morning I wore my black sweater
It's chilly in the morning
It's chilly in my classroom
This afternoon it got warm
I took my sweater off
No need for it anymore
This evening I went looking for my sweater
It had gotten chilly in the evening
It wasn't in the chair
It wasn't hanging over the newel post
I went to get a different sweater
Hanging in the closet was my black sweater
How clever of me


Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Happy Election Day!

This blog is to thank all of the poll workers out there who spend their day working to get America's votes in, especially my friend Justy who has been an election judge in Wyoming for eight years. It is my dream job to be a poll worker here in California, but I always teach classes on Tuesday in the fall--maybe a June election sometime?

Anyway Justy, let me know if you figure out the postage and addressing scheme for those beyond the grave/afterlife absentee ballots, okay?

Go vote everybody!

Monday, November 01, 2010

C-Span is running a telephone call in show asking people to call in and tell them why they are motivated to vote this year. People are calling in with various reasons, citing such things as health care reform, the wars in the Middle East, the economy, the divisiveness in government, etc. I’ve tried numerous times to get through because I’d like to share my reason, because no one has given my reason yet. In fact no one ever cites my reason.

I am turning out to vote because November 2 is the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. I always vote. I ALWAYS VOTE. I will vote from the grave. Voting is not going to the mall. “Gee, it’s raining out. Maybe I’ll stay in and watch a video.” Voting is not going to the movies or going out for coffee with friends. Hell, it’s not even going to work. You can’t call in sick. "I'm tired." "I didn't get a flu shot and now I have the flu." "I don't have anything to wear."

Wear a surgical mask, and drag your sorry ass to the polls and VOTE.

Voting is not a privilege. I’m tired of people saying that. It’s not a right. It’s a responsibility. It’s a necessity. It’s like breathing. YOU MUST DO IT OR DIE.

People died for your responsibility to do it. They are still dying to get their own responsibility to do it. So take a few hours away from the television or the Internet or whatever, and read your sample ballot, become informed, and be a real human being and vote on Tuesday.

See you at the polls. I’ll be the one handing out free beer—just kidding.
Update on Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear:

For a more comprehensive list of the signs go to: Rally the Cause by Scott Henderson who obviously used technology to tape the event and create a comprehensive and alphabetized list of the signs, instead of having his son and and spouse shout out the content of the signs while he frantically typed them in, glancing up occasionally to catch glimpses of the festivities. He probably also didn't leave partway through to go get some locally raised organic eggs and pet the pygmy baby goat at the Farmer's Market either did he? Anyway, Scott I've emailed you to be sure that you don't mind me linking your exemplary list to my pathetic attempt.

I do have a socially responsible blog entry planned for later today that hopefully will make up for my woefully incomplete poster list.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Today is my car's birthday. I almost didn't buy it in orange. I mean, maybe it was just a seasonal thing? Maybe a bright orange car isn't a good idea? I mean, I don't work for the secret service, but I can't EVER be sneaky.

And there's always this: "There IS a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown."

But, I can always find my car in the parking lot. People can always find my house, "It's the one with the orange Fit out front." And it's cute, don't you think? It dresses up pretty too.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Comedy Central Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear Signs (some are better than others):

Go Vote Yourself (I want a tee shirt with this on it) (this is my husband's fave)

Who Brought the Fried Chicken Y'all (my son's fave)

I'm a Radicalized Moderate and I'm Mad as Heck (this might be my personal fave)

Obama won't force Muslims to worship Jesus, so I'm voting Tea Party (my husband likes this one, presumably for its astonishing lack of tolerance and reason)

God Hates Hate

Moderate to the Extreme (another fave)

Faux News

Pimp my Gov

Here are the moderate Muslims (with a down arrow held by folks in Muslim garb with big smiles :))

Think Outside the Fox

Palin Would Have Quit

Why am I afraid?

Proud to be non-affiliated

Everybody Poops

Be Radical

Papa Smurf 2012

Team Fear

I believe in a sanity clause

Think for Yourself

I think/ Therefore I am (I assume this is on the reverse)

One of Us

Ecology Precedes Economy

Yes To Genocide to End World Hunger

Unite for Sanity in America

I'm High as Hell and I'm not Going to Take it Anymore

I Have Bed Bugs

Team Human Being

Team Sanity

Tea Party (crossed out) Coffee Party (crossed out) Funk Party

I'm Afraid of YOU

Illinois Neuroscientists for Sanity

I'm for Sanity

Alaskans for Sanity

Jon 3:16 (yes John is spelled this way)

Congressional Smackdown: Is this what it's come to?

We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive. Albert Einstein

Moderates for better government

Are you sure you locked the front door?/Do you know where your wallet is?

Disagree--Don't criticize

Don't feed the bears (politicians' faces on the bears--Palin, and maybe Barbara Boxer?)

You can't fly with just a left wing

A rally beats housework any day

I'm Cuckoo for Sanity

I'm Not Crazy

Witches Bitches Bears

Another Crazy Utah Mom for Sanity


Keep Fear Alive and Restore Sanity (both on pumpkins)

War Solved Hitler

Health Care Reform, Probably not Euthanasia

Give Quiche a chance

Stop Hurting America

Balance not Bombs

United Against the Robots

Moderates Like it Both Ways

Hitler is Hitler (with two photos of, well, Hitler)

Montolio for Dictator

This is like totally our Woodstock

Good things are good, bad things are bad

Win/win solutions

Death to Nobody

Serenity Now

Don't Tax Our Tans

Be sane, not inane

Wouldn't it be nice if we could restore sanity? It all depends on whether we still have enough sanity to restore. I'm a little worried that there isn't enough left to go around. I think we've squandered it over the last 10 years. When was Fox News founded? Or should we trace its loss all the way back to the Reagan administration?

Friday, October 29, 2010

Starting Over, or Drinking Arsenic

Starting over in two respects I suppose. I'd like to start blogging again; I miss it terribly. I quit blogging because I started working so much on the computer that blogging was just that much more time on the computer, but I think, I hope, I have adjusted.

The other thing that I would like to start doing again is yoga; it was such a part of me for so long. I was a daily Ashtanga practitioner, but two years ago I suddenly had to quit. I started getting wicked headaches and neck aches. I'd stop yoga for a week, and they'd abate; I'd start the yoga again, but within a week or two the headaches would be back, and the cycle continued. Finally a year ago, I gave up the yoga altogether and went to the doctor. He diagnosed me with transformed migraines. We've been playing the hormones, inadequate sleep, overactive brain cells (like I needed him to tell me that), and stiff neck game ever since.

Well, I had the grandfather of all migraines two weeks ago. It lasted all week (yes, I went to school anyway and inflicted it upon my poor students), and my doc was unavailable, so I went to a substitute doctor. Sometimes new eyes see something, well new, and he sent me in for neck x-rays, and set me up for physical therapy.

I went to my first physical therapy appointment today, and wow, I had no idea that something that was supposed to be good for you could actually be bad for you. Turns out that I have degenerative disc disease. I asked Dave, my physical therapist (I'm telling you his name so I never have to type physical therapist again), told me it was probably YOGA. What? Apparently the very poses that saved my life when I had RA (rheumatoid arthritis--I am never typing that again) probably caused my migraine suffering. I was in shock. I feel like have been drinking arsenic. How could I have done this to myself?

I tearfully told my husband this, and it took him a while to understand why I was so upset. He laughed and said it was only my fault if I hit myself on the head with a hammer while doing yoga. He was also thrilled with the diagnosis. He said finally I have something (unlike RA, an autoimmune disease--all better now :)) structural--something Western medicine is actually good at! And it's true. We have a plan, with photocopied handouts, appointments, medicine, and a possible end to the pain. It also means that everything that I do, or have done, is totally wrong, from the yoga, to how I sit, how I work at the computer, how I drive, is wrong, wrong, wrong.

So, starting over.

Dave said I could do yoga as long as I do no backward bends--so no Ashtanga, and modified everything else. Sniff. So, I bought two new yoga books today. One has a sexy skinny girl on the front filled with lots of fun energetic poses that I'd love to do, so since I'm a sexy skinny girl I bought that one. Duh. The other one has dumpy people doing sensible forward bends that Dave would approve of, so I bought it. Boring. I will take them to my appointment next week for his feedback.

I also retrieved a straight backed chair from the land of Black Widows (the garage) and brought it into the living room. I went out to the garage to get the lint/pet hair removal brush, but before I could use it, one of my lint depositors had already found the chair.

He already knows I'm going to make him move. Sigh.

Well. It will take me a while to get back in the blogging groove. But, give me some time. It's been a while, and I've got all of that arsenic to work out of my system.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Bruno is a baaaaad kitty.